Better than nothing

Everything is better than just anything,

But anything is better than nothing at all.

 

So that’s why we jump at the scraps thrown our way

Because we still remember how it use to be

We try to hold on and pull it all back

Desperately searching for air

Winded and shocked

Because when it was good, you were treated great

And expected everything

But then it was lost so quickly and everything went bad,

Now you will take anything versus nothing at all.

If you want to leave

Then I would rather you just left

That would be better than stringing me along

Like a worn rag doll.

 

It’s not you it’s me

 

Today we stop,

Tomorrow we go

Round and round

like a merry go round

First you love

And then you leave

Cant keep up

Its you not me

I’ve seen it all

Not wondering at all

If it could actually be

You never loved me

now I see

Its not you, its me.

 

Musings

Most things in life you never really see coming. That’s why when they happen, apart from the initial shock of it, you still kinda feel in the very core of your being not so surprised. It’s as if the ability to accept and expect the worst is ingrained in the very nature of what makes us human.

It’s like the first time when you get your heart broken and you experience an actual physical pain of heartbreak, you then let the terrible avalanche of feelings consume you, because even in this consummation of your soul, you realize that hearts are meant to be broken and healed and broken all over again. The fact that this tragic cycle never stops has lead me to believe that the only truly happy people in this world are the ones that are able to realize the inevitable that life is full of disappointments and that life itself, in its most basic form,is in fact one huge mother of a disappointment.

Recognizing this frees us of the expectations of that happily ever after image we have in our minds created by the fairytale stories of our childhood. Love can save us but it can also destroy us. It is the single most powerful thing out there because it is capable of the impossible, it is able to possess the human body and ultimately control a person. it is our best friend and also our worst enemy. It can drag us through hell but it can also mean the experience of our own personal heaven on earth even if it is only for a short while. Someone once told me that life will give you whatever experience is the most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. This has lead me to believe that the things we experience and the people who inspire us is what determines who we are and who we love not because of some bullshit fantasy or what some might refer to as our fate or destiny. The person I have become is an accumulation of pain, love, friendship, despair, hope, joy and so many other things but it doesn’t really matter what or how this came about but rather how this has created a direction for the very essence of the rest my existence.

Musings